Welcome to the Shrine to Actors

Yeah right. This is of course the same thing I said about Viggo Mortensen and Eric Bana, but those are stories of eating my words for another time.

For now we’re talking about Gerard. And for the record, the “Ger-” in Gerard is pronounced the same way you would in Gerry, with an “air” sound, rather than the harsher “errr” sound we generally use for the name. He’s very particular about this, so if you ever meet him, you know, be sure you get his name right. But I digress. We were talking about how I didn’t get the Gerard Butler fan squee that cropped up around The Phantom of the Opera. This may have been due to the fact that he, you know, wears a mask–and it didn’t register that this was the same super-buff dude that was in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. Surely a serious oversight on my part.

Seriously.

A couple years back I randomly landed on a Gerard Butler interview on TV. And then I got it. He was so ridiculously charming, with that gorgeous Scottish lilt, and funny, and well, sexy as all hell. I started to see the squee appeal. And then, you know, 300 came out. And resistance was futile. I mean, come on, the man was mythologically stunning, all big brawny muscle and loads of testosterone and the most attractive bit of arrogant wit. Rowrrr.

Longtime fangirls sensed my weakness and kept whispering “Get Dear Frankie” in my ear. Helpless to resist, I put it on my Christmas list and received it last year. I was hooked, I tell you, hooked. I don’t want to tell you the plot of the movie, because to me any explanation ruins it, but I’ll just say briefly that Emily Mortimer is hearbreakingly lovely as a single mother of a young, deaf boy, and Gerard turns up as a mysterious stranger that alters both their lives. It’s a beautiful, beatiful film, and Gerard is handsome and masculine with just the right notes of gruff sensitivity. You will be totally blown away. It’s especially a winner because we get to hear Gerard’s natural accent.

As for Phantom of the Opera, I saw it for the first time tonight. The movie is a beautiful, lavish mess, with some really odd choices made and then some really striking and poignant scenes. Oddly, this is one of those films that gets better towards the end, which is far better than the ones that start promisingly and then gradually ruin any good feeling you had about it. Gerard doesn’t have a huge vocal range, but he adds a welcome growl of masculinity to the songs that ramps up the sexiness factor and to me, makes it far more understandable that Christine would follow him into dark tunnels willingly.

Gerard does make me giggle sometimes, though. In 300, his ancient Greek accent sounded a little more like Greek from da neighborhood. Here he’s also got that little edge to his words…I was waiting for “Music of the night….fuggedabouttit” to slip free…heh. Of course this was better than Emmy Rossum, who was so doe-eyed in some scenes I fully expected “Duh?” to form in a bubble next to her super-full lips. I realize the Phantom is supposed to have a sort of hypnotic effect on her, but it shouldn’t be like her brain is oozing out of her ear. To be fair to Ms. Rossum, a lot of the stage actresses adopt the same vacant stare, so I guess it’s in the script.

Many critics complained that Gerard’s Phantom was too sexy to be scary, and had far too little disfigurement.

*guh* I’m not complaining. And once again, for me it works a bit better for the whole love triangle idea. The part that threw me was Christine somehow believing that the Phantom was the spirit of her father–that then turned all the sexy stuff into creepy Electra complex stuff.

I forgot to mention the leather gloves. *trembles* Anyhoo, while the movie was flawed, Gerard was dazzling, and sexy with piercing eyes that were a deep teal in some scenes–think stormy ocean. Yum.

And well, even with the creepy skeletal mask, the tight red suit was delicious.

So, you know, I rest my case. You can see how little I’m interested in Gerard. *cough*

P.S. Word is, there may be a Phantom sequel…

*Tune in tomorrow for “Dear Orlando, Please DO something!”

Screencaps:

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life,  c2003 Paramount Pictures

300, c2006 Warner Brothers Pictures.

The Phantom of the Opera, c2004 Odyssey Entertainment.